Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You are the jesus of drinking
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
