She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
