2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
