you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
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I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
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Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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