please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
