Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
