apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
