Tell her she can't have a vagina
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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