He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
