based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize