How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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