Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
