that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
