dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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