You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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