Soap is not a condiment
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
