We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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