I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
