it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
