what day is it and did you see me today?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
