plz talk dirty to me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
