Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
