he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
