You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
