Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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