Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
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After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
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