mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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