let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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