we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
