I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize