I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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