I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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