i would punch a child for taco bell
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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