Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
