If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
