Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
