Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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