There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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