what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
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Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
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His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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