I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
