Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
