Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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