I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
