i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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