he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize