I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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