Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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