She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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