just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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