Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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