After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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