the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
