My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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