i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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