Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
