So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
