that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
