I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize