I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
