why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no you cant smoke seaweed
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
