it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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