I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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